I have always enjoyed being alone. However, as an INFP, this preference is often not easily recognized by others (you can learn more about INFP analysis for specific reasons).

I have read many books, and I immediately start reading any that have "loneliness" in the title. This has led to a deeper understanding of loneliness. The most basic point: loneliness does not equal being reclusive; loneliness is a skill, a moment to converse with one’s own soul.

I have always believed in the idea presented in "The Power of Now": that people are divided into the small self and the greater self. We live daily in our greater self, often forgetting our small self. Every day, we are bombarded by notifications from our phones, overshadowed by the gaze of others, and coerced by societal values, causing our true small self to become elusive.

As a result, I have experienced a strange phenomenon: since moving to a busy office, I seem to get along well with those around me, becoming what is referred to online as a "fun person," yet I crave conversation when I return to my dorm at night. This phenomenon persisted for a while until I finally found the reason: the lack of time spent with myself; the person I longed to chat with was actually myself.

I don’t want anyone to disturb me while coding

In a crowded office, friends often come to find me for various reasons. Although I do not reject socializing and am willing to get to know someone deeply, I do not wish to be disturbed while working. Whether it’s a kind inquiry, a question, or an important notice from school, my own world does not allow for interruptions. (That said, I do not harbor resentment towards those who interrupt.)

Anything can break my train of thought and distract my attention. Modern people are not lacking in time; they are lacking in attention. We complain about not having enough time, but the essence is that we cannot devote large chunks of attention to a single task.

The hollow disease

I do not enjoy listening to middle-aged, greasy teachers express their opinions in class, but there is one exception: she mentioned that there is a common ailment in society, the hollow disease.

I prefer to define this ailment in my own way. In my view, those who play games, indulge in pleasures, and pretend to work hard to move themselves are suffering from the hollow disease; those who are caught up in mundane romantic relationships are also afflicted; those who, forced by life, willingly become cogs in the machine are likewise suffering. This is not their fault; it is a result of societal trends.

So what is the best vaccine/antidote for this disease?

Finding some time to be with oneself.

Isn’t it uncomfortable to be noisy?

There is also a very simple reason: I cannot stand noise. Whether it’s the joys and sorrows in the gaming world or any startling sounds, they all become noise in my ears. Of course, this excludes the people I like.

Most people do not understand this. In the context of Chinese societal trends and cultural concepts, being unconventional and unique is always difficult and painful. This article could only be written in moments of solitude.

I will always prefer the lines from Su Dongpo’s poem:

"Choosing not to rest on the cold branches, the lonely sandbar is cold."