Let's talk about how to break bad habits.
First, the key point: The reason bad habits are particularly insidious is that they often disguise themselves as solutions, while making underlying problems worse.
Everything Starts with Needs
We don't engage in behaviors without reason. Therefore, when we practice those bad habits, it is actually driven by some kind of need.
Maslow's hierarchy of needs explains almost all human needs, and these needs correspond to different solutions, which we refer to as "good habits and bad habits." Let’s look at a few examples:
- Physiological Needs - Basic Needs: Can be met with healthy fruits, vegetables, and three meals a day, or with high-calorie fast food and milk tea.
- Physiological Needs - Sex: Can be fulfilled through healthy intimate relationships, or through promiscuity, prostitution, or watching pornographic videos.
- Belonging and Love Needs: Can be satisfied through healthy intimate relationships and regular contact with family, or through fanatical idol worship or obsession with certain things.
Addiction Issues
Some behaviors seem not to stem from essential needs, such as smoking and drug use.
These behaviors are often the result of multiple factors. Taking smoking as an example, the reasons include:
- Seeking stimulation and pleasure: This falls under the "physiological needs" level.
- Self-regulation and escapism: This also belongs to the "physiological needs" level.
- Social influence: This pertains to the "belonging" level. In some social circles, smoking or drug use may be seen as a social behavior or a symbol of identity. If those around you engage in such behaviors, an individual may imitate them to fit in, gain recognition, and a sense of belonging.
Best Practices
Remember the HALT principle. That is, when you are about to make a decision, examine whether you are in one of four states:
- Hungry: Hunger (also includes thirst)
- Angry: Anger (broadly defined, including various negative emotions)
- Lonely: Loneliness
- Tired: Fatigue
Most of your behaviors stem from one or more of these four states. Identifying the essential need and thinking about how to respond in a healthy and correct way is key to breaking bad habits. Let’s look at some examples:
| Behavior | Essential Problem | Healthy Solution |
|---|---|---|
| Drinking milk tea/junk food | Hunger | Healthy fruits and vegetables, plain water |
| Addicted to social media or games | Loneliness | Connect with friends around you |
| Addicted to social media or games | Fatigue | Take a nap, recharge, and continue working |
| Smoking | Anger | Exercise |
| Procrastination | Fatigue & Hunger | Don’t force yourself, take a moment to recharge |
You can also create a similar list to identify why you keep engaging in these bad habits. Note that this list should not be too long; just list the 3 habits you most want to break. Recognizing HALT itself also requires effort.
Remember, bad habits often disguise themselves as solutions. See through them and replace them with healthier methods.
Support Tools
Based on these principles I have practiced for a long time, I developed the app "I Didn't."
- Add no more than 5 bad habits.
- Set a duration to stick to each time, an alternative solution, and the essential reason.
- Click start. During the commitment period, avoid engaging in that bad habit.