I used to love drinking the signature beverage from Shuyi Grass Jelly. Outside the city center, you could buy a large cup for just 10 yuan: half filled with milk tea and half with toppings.

The first half of this year (not too much, just right, until the college entrance examination) felt like that half cup of milk tea. Monotonous is the most fitting word to describe the senior year. Even in the last ten days of the countdown, there were moments of relief. There were no online classes, no freedom, no running around; it was just a race against time, a pure cup of milk tea.

There are a few vivid memories, like walking back to the dorm alone after evening study on a rainy night.

On the afternoon of June 8, after finishing the English exam, I couldn't help but smile, a pure joy that I was afraid others would see. It felt less like a heavy burden being lifted and more like shackled feet finally being freed to run.

The first half of the year was simple yet memorable, using all my strength to break free from the constraints of the education system and embrace a new beginning. Of course, there were some regrets: one night after evening study, I saw a girl alone on the playground looking very sad; I should have asked her what was wrong; before graduation, I didn't take a photo with the life teacher or the PE teacher; after the college entrance exam, I shouldn't have bought a laptop but rather a desktop…

The second half of the year was spent in turmoil, far more exciting than the technical struggles.

First came the last vibrant and carefree holiday of my life, where I filled out my college applications correctly, temporarily escaping the dry reality. I got my driver's license, played games, wrote code, and just as I was feeling reluctant to leave, I was shocked to hear that the start of school was postponed.

Next came the almost invisible online classes. As the autumn wind began to blow, some people still wanted to fight against the virus, so the start of school was postponed again, and military training was canceled.

I finally experienced what it meant to "have a holiday until you feel sick." Soon after, the start of school was postponed for the third time. My struggle against the holiday reached a boiling point; I woke up at seven every day to attend morning study and sat in front of the camera for evening study. It seemed everyone wanted to start school, but I fell in love with this almost solitary life. The next time I want to experience such a life, it might be after changing jobs and staying at home.

It wasn't until I smelled the snowflakes drifting from the north that I knew school was finally starting, and it was already November. The real university life was about to begin, and the harsh reality was about to set in.

In university, I found more and more things I didn't want. In just a month at school, I had to keep subtracting, discarding those meaningless, time-wasting, and distracting routines and trivial matters. I even withdrew from the student organization I had joined during the summer. Under the pandemic, everything felt as gray as the sky. Only when the code worked smoothly did I find a bit of solace.

After a year, I learned many new technologies: Flutter, iOS, Unity, and Python. I didn't waste my previous efforts in practicing algorithm problems and gained a deeper understanding of programming. I also developed many new skills, read a variety of books, and continued to be a lifelong learner.

Amid the cheers of the World Cup, this country finally decided to end a three-year farce, and we were able to go home, returning to the autumn of this year. The strains that had been filtered through turmoil infected most people around me, and I also fell ill, lying in bed for four or five days.

The second half of the year was a mix of small ingredients: grass jelly, mung beans, red beans, and coconut jelly. What are the regrets? The regret is not stabilizing my footing during the turbulent half-year; my online circles didn't expand much.

After experiencing a few months of real life, I found that some people never thought about searching for anything, some struggled to find what they wanted, and some may have already found it. Meanwhile, I kept discovering things I didn't want. Is this also a form of searching?

In short, I hope that in 2023, I can write a full summary again. I hope to work a little harder next year. (Ninth day of the twelfth month in the Year of the Tiger)