June 7, 2020

As you read these words, you must be happily eating, drinking, and enjoying life, relishing in your freedom, right?

There is a strange and indescribable barrier and awkwardness; it’s odd how people know that someone she doesn’t love loves her, yet they distance themselves even more. People know that the one he loves doesn’t love him, yet he loves her even more.

Isn’t it funny?

I wish I had never met you. It’s painful, tangled, bittersweet; I want to give up, I miss you, I want to never see you again, I can’t forget, it’s hard to let go, and I cherish the memories.

But at least, fortunately, you still allow me to take you as my faith, the motivation for me to become better. At least, I won’t feel inferior in front of you. Just wait quietly; the past that needs to be bid farewell will eventually pass, and I must believe that the right person is waiting for me in the future. I will live my life well, and I look forward to a better version of myself.

In the next life, can you like me this way? Or maybe not; I don’t want you to feel as miserable as I do.

June 7, 2020

I woke up this morning and saw the backup of our chat history on the table. I searched for her name and read through each message, as if she were right in front of me, and all the memories I tried to forget came flooding back to life.